I just may have to come back here... Not like I really started

Yea this is post 3 since I started this blog a few yrs ago... I guess I decided not to use this for venting and such. Well I really want to so here's to me actually using it lol. Life is kinda blah ATM... Moved up to a different position @ work (YAY ME), love life still flat but with any luck I'll be moving in the right direction to try & change that (AKA it means I need to get off my ass & make that 1st move)... Oh and the "party" in my head is still ever going but trying to not let it get to me. Some days it's hard but I always look towards the positive I do have in my life. Well I think I need to take feed my party so I can actually get some sleep today before returning to work tonite.... To anyone who has read this, Thanks!! And to those who didn't, well I guess you wont be getting those free cookies I was planing on handing out.

DAMN!!! I really suck lol

Ok, I really suck at this blog thing.... I haven't posted past my 1st post which was over a yr ago!!! Like I said, I suck :-D

So whatz new since my last post?? NADA!! YAY ME!!! LOL

Ok, I guess there is some new crap.... I hopefully soon will be getting a new car *fingers crossed* which with any luck will put shit back on track towards me getting my ass in my classes for my CNA stuff. Stuff is starting to look sunny and I sure as hell want it to keep getting better cause some of my clouds are still looming and they need to GTFO!!!!

What to say first....

Just how the title states, what to say first... Hmmm, well I'll start off by saying HELLO!!!! Ok I'm a dork but anyone who knows me already knows that :D I've recently decided that I need an actual blog to write in and vent and what not... Not that the one on MYSPACE isn't a bad place but no one goes on my MS page anymore and I wanted a REAL blog place to do my, well blogging.

As some of you may know, I'm what I call an unusual person... I am me and that's all I'm gonna be. There are things that people know about me and things no one knows about me. I have depression issues. Not the skinniest girl one the block (or the state lol, jk). I stutter. I think about hurting myself from time to time but end up either screaming, punching a few walls or just go silent. I work everyday to center myself and try to lead what I try and call a "normal" life..... Oh and this has taken me over 10 mins 2 get this far so lets add easily distracted to the list too :D.... I want so much out of life but feel I'll never achieve it. It's not that the fact that I've given up on things, it's the fact that on a few things, I'm my own worst enemy. I know I can have the life I want and I want it so bad.... I want to get my CNA and be a nurse someday. I want to have children and meet the person of my dreams.... I want a life where I don't feel so alone in a big huge crowd.

There are things that I know I have not listed and will bring up in other posts in the future... that I can assure you :D Thank you to all who have read this and I haven't lost nor scared off yet cause this is only the beginning....